It's not a Dairy Queen or Cousin's Subs.
Kidz Unplugged, which bills itself as "one-stop shopping for the mind, body and spirit of our children" ("This center will serve as the first exclusive children’s holistic center in the community focusing on natural enrichment activities and personal care needs of children"), has sent a mailer announcing its relocation from the Franklin Business Park ("not the best fit for this type of business," according to the mailer) to Fountains of Franklin.
The new facility will be 5,700 square feet, which will be, according to the mailer, the largest kid's salon and spa in the country. Kidz Unplugged will be closing their current location on December 27th.
Sad to say, given the hostile, vehicle-choked, disconnected environment in which they must navigate, today's suburban children evidently do require "enrichment activities" beyond those that me and my snot-nosed buddies self-generated back in the early '70s - - when our world was much, much bigger and a three-speed Huffy with a banana seat gave you the keys to the kingdom.
I'm trying to imagine going over to Kirkie Kerschlager's house with my friend Bob Blaskowski only to have his mom say, "Kirkie can't play slo-mo Packer goal line football today; we have a spa appointment."
Other natural enrichment activities I remember:
- Playing marathon "ghetto-league" baseball games (so named by a Little League coach: "And don't go getting hurt before our 'real' game playing your little 'ghetto-league' ball...").
- Catching bullheads and carp down at the Wisconsin River.
- Exploring the "mud flats" when the Wisconsin River was drawn down (Found: 34 bikes, a rusted-over revolver, and a 4 cars).
- Jumping bikes with homemade ramps (I have the scar to prove it).
- Day-long excursions to the city pool, then up the hill to grandma's for peanut butter cookies and card games.
- Climbing the pipes at Wausau Concrete (with the big "WausaW Concrete" sign).
- Dumpster-diving behind the arcade supply shop for 45's (speaking of "natural enrichment," I remember finding the Knack's "My Sharona" with the scandalous sleeve photo and being strangely affected. My mom had to have a talk with me when she saw that particular item).
-The "Cluster Mystery Ride": Going down the sledding hill - which had huge "bumps" at the bottom created by the snowplow - in a closed refrigerator box with four other kids. (I have a scar from that one as well.)
- Walking down to Stop-&-Go ("Stop-&-Hock") to look at comics and buy Wacky Packages ("Fright Guard"! Genius).
- Biking to the Wausau News Agency to look at exotic magazines (meaning monsters and sci-fi, not skin and sin).
- Pressing up against the viewing window at WRIG-AM radio and watching the DJ spin records and read the news, sometimes leaving with AP tearsheets to later read aloud from my basement "studio."
- Trying even the weird flavors at Mother's Ice Cream.
- Building yet another fort in the clump of trees we called The North Woods.
Etc.
Ah, the days of free natural enrichment.
John,
Great post and walk down memory lane. Your "holistic" activities brought back a few memories of my own.
For the record, I think kiddie spas are utterly rediculous, but to each their own!
Posted by: Fred Keller | December 24, 2008 at 11:17 AM